Balancing ActCategory: General   Feb 10th 2020  11:16AM   0

Every day, we open ourselves up to intense scrutiny, chaos, stress and monotony. If we totted up the hours that we spent engaged in obligations versus the time we spent devoted to doing what we love, I suspect it would make for frustrating reading. 

Of course, we all have commitments. Life gets in the way. It’s a tricky balancing act. But why should our relationships tip the scale in an unfavorable direction? When it comes to romance, there’s a tendency to over-complicate: we cast each other in certain roles, guilt-trip, overthink, try to catch the other out. I’ve learned it’s best to avoid this at all costs. When it comes to the affairs of the heart, we should look to explore and find joy in pleasure, rather than diminish or self-censure for the sake of other people’s expectations. Romance is a delicate dance, not a game of tug-o-war. Why make things harder than they need to be? 


An instant, passionate connection can exhilarate and thrill, of course - there’s something to be said for truly losing ourselves in each other. But what about those other liaisons - the ones that leave us relaxed, satiated and smiling at each other in easy silence? 

Pleasure, I believe, comes from contrasts - the cool, refreshing bite of a mint julep versus the warmth of a carefully sipped Merlot. Pushing pedal to the metal before hitting the undulating backroads. Fast, breathless kisses; sensual, slow-winding embraces.  

It all depends what story we want to tell. But life isn't all about escapism. Sometimes, we crave the comfort and companionship of a "typical" relationship - warm hands on our back, conversation over tapas and wine, the sleepy back-and-forth of pillow talk. Striking desire and fervor into someone’s heart is all well and good, but it takes a truly special person to create a sense of relaxation and contentment. Sometimes, that’s the most erotic thing of all. 


Casting off the trappings of convention, we'll make only the best kind of memories. If we allow ourselves the time, we can instill the sweet and easy harmony of longtime lovers - minus the complications that can make certain relationships so confusing.  

Just because we have a lot of fun doesn't mean our dates are frivolous. I stand by the idea that passion, laughter and enjoyment are as important in life as the air we breathe. Commit to the hours. Hatch a plan for something unforgettable. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is time. 


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